One new thing I am doing this year is creating a special keepsake for Amy that will memorialize a loved one who recently passed away. My idea is to make a Christmas tree ornament that will have a photo on one side and a line from the poem "My First Christmas in Heaven" on the other side. If you've not read the poem before, you might do a web search for it. I've received it twice now from other friends who lost someone dear this year. It's quite poignant. Last year, I gave family members ornaments with baby Amy's picture inside, but this year I'm starting to think I should be giving Amy ornaments with family members' pictures inside, or at least making sure I have great photos of her with family members through the years so I can create special keepsakes over time. We could end up decorating a true "family tree."
Last year I was a Santa snob. I couldn't have Amy's picture taken with any old guy in a red suit--it had to be a man with a real beard. Don't ask why, I know it's ridiculous. But then, last year she was just a babe in a sling who went along for the ride without complaint when I was popping in and out of stores and malls and doing whatever needed to be done. This year she's a toddler with get-up-and-go, and shopping isn't as easy. Standing in line won't be as easy. Time isn't as plentiful this year, with other things that have been going on. So I now am of the mindset that a red suit is a red suit, and a beard is a beard. Even if I would be able to find a guy with a real beard every year, it probably won't be the same guy with the same beard every year. Some day I'll have to explain what's up with these different guys who all say they're Santa. So I might as well let go now and just get the photo. Honestly, she's the one I'm looking at anyway.
This year especially, I am having to make a conscious effort to relax. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but getting out of your conscious mind is intentional. The fact is, "the most wonderful time of the year" often is the most stressful. Sometimes people try to do too much to make it wonderful and get uptight. Sometimes people have expectations of a magical season, and they are deeply disappointed by the reality. Sometimes people experience a personal loss that creates sadness when there is supposed to be joy. This is a special time of year, and I'm trying to take reasonable measures to make sure that I get to enjoy the right amount and right kind of "special." I will go out of my way to take a quiet drive around the neighborhood and look at lights (avoiding high-traffic areas that make me regret the trip). I will set aside time for my annual screening of "White Christmas" with a mug of hot chocolate and Peppermint Schnapps. I will listen to my favorite carols and sing them "long and loud for all to hear" (ala "Elf"). And I will escape to my bedroom when I need a holiday-free zone to take a power nap or just breathe deep without seeing, smelling, or hearing things that make me feel like I should be doing more
Tree dilemma aside, I am really excited about Christmas this year. Last year was “baby’s first Christmas,” and that was cute, but this year we’re going to see some real wide-eyed wonderment. Amy enjoys looking out the front window at the neighbor’s house with lots and lots of colorful lights. (Too bad their kids don’t have as much to get excited about looking at our house!) Right now I’m looking around for the perfect “Santa” to have Amy’s photo taken with. Preferably one with a real beard and a short line! And I love the Christmas dresses for little girls. It was so tough to choose just one, but highly impractical to have two. Whatever and however you celebrate this holiday season, I hope you have a wonderful time and enjoy how the lights and decorations cheer up the winter blahs. Personally, I wish there was a way to keep it cheery until February at least. ; )
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